In one of the large and rich cities of China, there once lived a tailor named Mustapha. He was very poor. He could hardly, by his daily labor, maintain himself and his family, which consisted only of his wife and a son.
His son, who was called Aladdin, was a very careless and idle fellow. He was disobedient to his father and mother, and would go out early in the morning and stay out all day, playing in the streets and public places with idle children of his own age.
When he was old enough to learn a trade, his father took him into his own shop, and taught him how to use his needle; but all his father's endeavors to keep him to his work were vain, for no sooner was his back turned, than he was gone for that day, Mustapha chastised him, but Aladdin was incorrigible, and his father, to his great grief, was forced to abandon him to his idleness; and was so much troubled about him, that he fell sick and died in a few months.
Hermia and Lysander were lovers; but Hermia's father wished her to marry another man, named Demetrius.
Now, in Athens, where they lived, there was a wicked law, by which any girl who refused to marry according to her father's wishes, might be put to death. Hermia's father was so angry with her for refusing to do as he wished, that he actually brought her before the Duke of Athens to ask that she might be killed, if she still refused to obey him. The Duke gave her four days to think about it, and, at the end of that time, if she still refused to marry Demetrius, she would have to die.
Lysander of course was nearly mad with grief, and the best thing to do seemed to him for Hermia to run away to his aunt's house at a place beyond the reach of that cruel law; and there he would come to her and marry her. But before she started, she told her friend, Helena, what she was going to do.
Helena had been Demetrius' sweetheart long before his marriage with Hermia had been thought of, and being very silly, like all jealous people, she could not see that it was not poor Hermia's fault that Demetrius wished to marry her instead of his own lady, Helena. She knew that if she told Demetrius that Hermia was going, as she was, to the wood outside Athens, he would follow her, “and I can follow him, and at least I shall see him,” she said to herself. So she went to him, and betrayed her friend's secret.
When I got - 文法的に正しく書こうという意図はわかりますが、正しく書くために、文法のバラエティ・表現が非常に狭くなって繰り返しが多いです。成人であるに関わらず、子供の書いた作品のようです。もう少し、語彙や、表現、文法にバラエティをもたせるといいでしょう。技術点 80/100 表現点 50/100
Whatever I chose - 和文に忠実になっていて、英語としては不自然です。そして、前置詞と冠詞が大半を占める、日本語特有の名詞主導型の書き方で、動作、のない作品です。そして、文法を発明してお使いの傾向があります。技術点 65/100 表現力 65/100
I passed - 文法にも誤りが少なく、表現力も重複や単調さをさけ豊かにしようとする努力がみられます。ライティングの学習法は正しいものをお使いのようです。この調子で頑張ってください。技術点 85/100 表現点 80/100